I really would die for you
by shannyforever
Summary: Jane and Maura leave the hospital after S4E7 to relax and have a drink at Maura's. But Jane can't relax, and can's stop thinking about what she said to Maura at the hospital. She would "come damn close" to dying for Maura? What does that mean?
1. Chapter 1

Follow on from S4E7.

Jane and Maura need a drink to wind down after the week, but Jane can't stop thinking about the case, and how her life could relate to the events that occurred.

As I stood next to Maura, watching through the glass as three young girls were begging their friend to wake up after the most horrific of days, I was overcome with emotion. I was in awe of the sincerity and the dedication that their friendship held. I watched as Samantha opened her eyes at the pleas of her family and friends.

"It's not really like the movies, is it?" I asked.

"No," Maura replied, arms wrapped around herself with sadness evident in her voice. "It will be a long haul. But she's responding, so… who knows? She might come all the way back"

"It's beautiful, though."

"What is?" Maura asked, as she turned to look at me.

"That kind of friendship," I replied.

Maura smiled as we watched the four friends on the hospital bed make a vow to die for each other.

"I mean, I don't know that I'd die for you, but I'd… I'd come damn close," I said, a hint of humour in my voice.

I heard the beginnings of a laugh come from Maura, before she replied, "me too Jane. Me too."

I glanced at her, knowing full well that I would indeed die for her. She was, after all, the best thing in my life.

"You ready to get out of here?" I asked. "I could do with a beer and a nice comfy couch right about now."

"Oh, a nice glass of 1994 Château De Gaudou would go nicely," Maura replied as she turned to face me. "I have a bottle at mine?" she asks, eyebrows raised.

"Well then, shall we?" I asked, holding out my arm.

"Let's," Maura replied with one of her usual heart breaker smiles, linking her arm with mine.

We sat, beer and wine in hand, watching some documentary Maura had recorded about ancient Egypt. Not that I was paying much attention. All I could think about were those four girls, and how close they were. They would do anything for each other. They were all willing to face jail in order to look out for one another.

They were like family, and I can completely understand just how far a person can go to save the ones they love. The only problem was… In the back of my mind, I knew that the person I was supposed to love the most; the man I am dating and claim to love, was not one of those people. Would I really die for Maura, but not for Casey?

"What are you thinking about, Jane?" Maura asked me, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Hmm? Oh nothing. I'm just bored. What exactly are we watching here?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Jane, this is fascinating. It's explains the theory of an alternative interpretation of ancient Egypt, not as mankind's earliest attempts at primitive civilization, but as a fully developed, and inexplicably advanced culture, who's scientific and metaphysical achievements we are only beginning to fully appreciate."

I took a swig of beer and had to pause from swallowing out of sheer admiration. "You really love this stuff, don't you?"

"You don't?" she replied, confused. "Fine, we can turn it off. And don't think I didn't notice that change in subject, Jane."

"I'm not sure what you mean, Maura."

Maura reached for the remote and turned off the television before turning on the couch to face me.

"Jane… what were you thinking just then? And don't say nothing, because I saw your corrugator supercilii muscle contracting, indicating displeasure, sadness or worry."

I raised my eyebrows, "huh".

"Actually, it could also indicate confusion or concentration, however considering your lack of interest in learning about an alternative interpretation of ancient Egypt, I can construe that this is not the case."

"Well, mayybeee, it's an indication of my displeasure at having to watch something about female circumcision," I replied, before taking another swig of my beer.

"Oh Jane, you were paying attention," Maura purred.

"Ok, I give. What is a curator superchilli muscle?"

"Corrugator supercilii muscle… it's the muscle right here on your brow," she explained, as she ran her finger softly across my brow.

"You mean I was frowning?"

"Yes. That's what I said. So, why were you frowning?"

"It's nothing really. I was just thinking about those girls today, and how much they meant to each other," I said, laying my head back on the couch to look at the ceiling.

"I have to say, Jane. Although they are very young, the bond they all have is obviously very strong. To risk your life for someone, even if it was only taking the heat for a death rather they actually dying… that's a huge dedication."

"I know. That's what I was thinking," I gasped, confusion obviously evident on my face.

"Why does this upset you so much, Jane?"

"What? It doesn't upset me. What makes you think it upsets me?"

"You're frowning again, Jane."

I sighed. I was confused, but maybe talking about my confusion with Maura would help. Although her google-mouth was sometimes hard to understand, I often find her way of looking at a situation; so literally and openly; to have a calming effect on me.

"I was thinking about Casey," I murmured.

"Ah. I see," Maura replied as she leaned forward to pick up her glass of wine.

"What?" I asked, sitting up straight to confront her. "What do you mean 'ah, I see'?"

"Nothing Jane. I can just see where this is going."

"Ok, smarty pants, why don't you tell me where this is going!"

Maura looked at me, her eyes searching my face in what I know to be her 'should I or shouldn't I' look. She placed her wine back on the table before reaching out to grab my hand.

"You're wondering why you cannot definitively say that you would risk your life, or indeed die, for Casey. And this scares you because it makes you question your devotion to him. You say you love him, but then that does not explain why it is that you would come pretty close to dying for me… for your family, the ones you love, but not for Casey."

I watched as Maura recalled the words that have been vibrating through my head since we left the hospital. How does she do that?

"Did I hit the screw on the top?" she asked.

"Hit the nail on the head, Maura. And yes. Yes you did," I replied. "So… do you have any ground breaking advice on the subject?"

"Well, there could be a couple of things to consider," she stated, looking down at our joined hands.

"Like?"

She looked back up into my eyes and I could see the hesitation in her expression.

"Well, the first of which could be that you simple are not there yet in your relationship. You are obviously very close with your family, and to compare the degree of your feelings of love towards Casey and the love you have for your family is unfair."

"Ok," I replied, considering this option. "But… Maura, I meant what I said earlier today. I'd come very close to dying for you. I mean, really close. And you are not… well, you are technically… what I mean is…"

"I know what you mean, Jane. I'm not technically family."

"You know that's not what I mean, Maura. What I mean is, what I have with you is so much more than what I have with Casey, and… well, I've practically been in love with Casey my whole adult life."

"Well, that brings me to option two to consider," Maura replied as she again looked down at our joined hands.

"Which is?" I asked gently.

There was a long pause and a few deep breaths before I began to get impatient waiting for some advice, any advice, on how to make sense of all this.

"Now you're frowning, Maura. Come on, what's option two?"

"That you don't love him," Maura replied slowly as she looked up into my eyes. "That maybe, you love me more than you love him?"


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

I looked at Maura and saw the uncertainty in her expression.

"Well, those two options seemed to go hand in hand, don't they?" I asked, still somewhat confused.

Maura glanced down at our joined hands before swiftly withdrawing her hand from mine. "Sorry," she murmured.

"No, Maura, hand in hand. As in, they are one in the same," I explained, reaching for the comfort of holding Maura's hand again. "You are my family, Maura. However this doesn't explain why Casey doesn't fit in the category of 'I'd risk my life for you'. I mean, I risk my life for strangers on a daily basis."

"Yes, Jane. As part of your job. And I think deep down, you would take a bullet for Casey. Its instinct for you," Maura replied.

I leant back into the sofa, pulling Maura with me. I needed to be in the comfort of Maura's arms… Wait… What the?

"Do you love him?" Maura asked, just as my body stiffened with the realisation that I would rather be wrapped up in Maura's arms, on Maura's couch, than with Casey.

"Jane? Are you ok?" she asked, sitting up to look at me, questioning my sudden rigidity. "It is a very simple question. Have I upset you?"

"No, no. You haven't upset me. I was just thinking that I need another beer," I said, before abruptly getting up and heading to the kitchen.

I opened the fridge to find a beer but not really looking for one. What on earth is wrong with this scenario? I'd rather be with Maura than Casey? It's not like I'd rather be with Ma, or Frankie, or Tommy. They're family. Okay, I know where this train of thought is going.

"I'm a detective, for goodness sake," I spoke to the beer in the fridge.

"Jane?" Maura questioned, standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Geez, Maura, you scared me," I screeched as I jumped out of the fridge.

"Yes, well, your unusual behaviour is scaring me," Maura replied, walking towards me. "And you are frowning again."

Before her hand reached by brow I stepped back out of reach. Queue the raised eyebrow… And… there it is. God she looks cute when she does that… Wait, what?

"Jane?"

"I'm sorry Maura. I'm just a little jittery. Maybe I should just call it a night."

There was that look again; the 'should I or shouldn't I' look. What are you up to Maura? I was facing her, my back against the bench, watching her walk towards me like I was prey.

"Maura? Now, your behaviour is scaring me."

"I have a hypothesis, and I'd like to do an experiment, if you'll let me?" she asked.

"What kind of experiment? And a hypothesis about what?" I asked, running my eyes over the length of her body. Really Jane? Now's not the time to perve.

"About your little dilemma. It's a simple experiment, I promise," she purred, standing a mere foot away.

"Ah, okay," I agreed, reluctantly.

"I need to ask you a few questions first, just to form a clear picture of my theory. Is that okay?"

"Mmhmm," was all I could get out.

"So, you have spent the afternoon questioning your devotion to Casey, correct?"

Nod.

"And you are questioning why you feel closer to me than to Casey, correct?"

Nod.

She took my hand and intertwined our fingers.

"And you realised you would rather be here with me than with Casey?"

I looked down at our linked hands, before replying with another nod.

"And just now, when we were sitting on the couch, you were alarmed at what that might mean?"

"Maybe you should be the detective," I whispered, before raising my head to look into her eyes.

"Oh no, I'm much better with the scientific stuff," she replied softly. She raised her hand to my neck. "Like a rapid pulse, sweaty palms, shortness of breath."

"So, ah… is this all part of your experiment?" I asked, revelling in the feel of her hands caressing the side of my neck.

"Yes, Jane. There's just one last thing I need to check."

"And what…"

My response was cut short as I felt Maura's body lean into mine, before her lips… oh her soft, soft lips… pressed into mine. Wow. Oh wow. Rapid pulse, check. Sweaty palms, check. Shortness of breath, check. Wet panties, check…

Before I could regain the ability to move, the kiss ended. Maura stood in front of me, hand still caressing my neck, eyes questioning, seeking a response.

How do I respond to that?

Things are starting to become clear now. My body knows what it wants, and now my mind is starting to catch up. It's Maura. How long has it been Maura? Has it always been Maura? With my mind all caught up, I knew just how to respond to that.

I leaned forward and captured her lips, eliciting a moan from the beautiful doctor. I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her even closer. Her hands tangling themselves in my hair. I was losing myself in this moment, this kiss.

I pulled away, but not far away, leaning my forehead against hers.

"Maura?" I sighed, a question hanging on the tip of my tongue.

"I'm so glad you finally caught up, detective," she replied with a grin.

"So does this mean the experiment is over?" I asked, huskily.

"Oh no, Jane," she purred, her hands under my shirt running them slowly up and down my sides. "I've only just begun."

THE END


End file.
